8615 Ridgely’s Choice Drive
Suite 212
Baltimore, MD 21236
Tel: (410) 529-
Fax: (410) 529-
Suite 212
Baltimore, MD 21236
Tel: (410) 529-
Fax: (410) 529-
WebMaster: Edward Lehwald
Society’s Secret: The Sexual Abuse of Boys
By Martha Miller, L.C.L.W.-C
Over the past months, the nation’s attention has been drawn to the stories of men who were sexually abused as children or young teenagers by Catholic priests. Generally, it has been more common for women to share their experiences of childhood sexual abuse while men for a variety of reasons have been more reticent to either privately or publicly acknowledge their abuse. This may lead some people to think that sexual abuse rarely happens to males. However, it is more common than one might believe and hopefully one positive outcome of recent medi a attention will be that male survivors of sexual abuse will give more consideration to what effect that experience has had on their lives.
Studies indicate that 8 to 16% of the general male population has had a history of sexual abuse and that boys at highest risk were younger than 13 years, nonwhite, of low socioeconomic status and not living with their fathers. Perpetrators are often known, and were divided between unrelated males and biological and step family members. Other studies put the incidence rate at 1 in 6 boys before the age of 169 (Hopper, 1996). Less than 10% will report the abuse (Finkelhor 1984, Watkins & Bentovin, 1992). It is suspected that societal attitudes about males that lead them to avoid any feelings of weakness or victimization are part of the explanation for this low number.
Many, if not most, of the same psychological consequences that women report are also seen in adult male survivors with the additional confusion about developing a homosexual identity. Some of the problems reported by those who have bee n sexually abused are multiple substance abuses, which started at an earlier age (than boys who had not been abused), depression, suicide, and higher rates of borderline personality disorder. (JAMA, 12/2/98 of 166 previous studies) Depression in males may be masked as bravado, aggression, or acting out in risk-
For those readers who are therapists or physicians it is recommended that men be asked routinely if childhood sexual abuse occurred. Often survivors do not think that these past experiences have any connection to the problem that brought them to therapy and they will not volunteer the information.
A parent’s vigilance is needed for boys as with girls. Parents can teach their boys about sexual abuse and create an environment that allows sons to feel safe about reporting behavior that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Although this does not guarantee that a child will tell an adult about inappropriate sexual behavior, such conversations will hopefully alert a child to what is appropriate and what secrets should not be kept. If pa rents or professionals observe some of the behaviors mentioned, they should consider exploring whether sexual abuse is occurring.
As men are finding their voices and telling their stories and seeking healing, they are learning that they are not alone. They are finding hope in listening to the journeys of other survivors and they are learning that sharing their pain is not “weak and unmanly”.
As men are finding their voices and telling their stories and seeking healing, they are learning that they are not alone. They are finding hope in listening to the journeys of other survivors and they are learning that sharing their pain is not “weak and unmanly”.