IT’S 11:00 P.M. AND DO YOU KNOW
WHERE YOUR ADOLESCENT IS? (Continued)
By Rochelle Haywood, M.S.W., L.C.S.W.- C
they actually are. More teens then ever have their own vehicles at an earlier age, and this gives them an opportunity to get to parties. Effective parenting is the primary form of managing the likelihood of substance abuse with your children. You have to be willing not to be your teen’s friend or buddy, but to be their parent .
Don’t let your child go to a home where drinking is allowed or there is a group of teens gathered in the absence of a parent. Set a positive example by not conveying the message that alcohol is helpful when you are particularly stressed. Don’t inadvertently encourage behavior where a substance should be used to alter the current mood. Teens need to get the message that people who don’t drink can be fun, and what makes you cool is that you can have a good time without a mood altering substance. Responsible parents keep in touch with each other and check if there is an adult in the home where their child is visiting.
If you have open communication with your child about these issues, then your teen is more likely to want to live up to your expectations. Parents often need to do more listening to their teens, rather than constantly talking or lecturing.
Within the family the key source of self-esteem appears to be the parent’s interest in the teen as well as acceptance of the teen. These include efforts by the parents to set limits with the teen and at the same time delegating responsibility to allow for the assumption of more adult like roles in the family. Certainly the parent needs to frequently express both their respect and love for their child. Self-esteem is the key to being able to hold onto "you" when the peer group challenges your values and norms. It is hard to make the choice not to drink when there seems to be no other way to have a good time.
It’s 11:00 P.M. and do you know where your teen is?
